Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Ever have one of those days where you feel like God is attempting to empty out everything within you that is not found to be conformed to the image of His Son? Well I'm having one... today.
There are times when dying to yourself is exhilarating because you know that you're being transformed into the likeness of Christ. Then, on days like today, it's painful... really painful. How do I face things that I've kept hidden away for so long that I didn't really even know that they exist? How do I overcome things that my carnal mind cannot fathom overcoming? It is truly a supernatural experience that is ABSOLUTELY necessary to be holy as He is holy.
It has nothing to do with repeating a prayer or acting out habitual "performances" to gain God's favor - it is real, it is alive, it is excruciating. With that being said, I choose to welcome it. In the midst of the fire, the transformation comes. Is it easier to just stay where I am and tell God that I just can't handle anymore purging? Sure it is, but then I'm choosing death over life. I'm choosing to bow out of the reason that I was created in the first place and say that it's not worth it... and I will NOT do that.
If you're not a Believer or have never really sought to die to yourself, then this may be a completely oddball situation for you. Let me assure you, it is as real as anything you can experience. God knows my innermost being and when He stirs up the core of this mysterious place, it is literally beyond description.
So I say, I will go on further. I will heed Your call to "Come up here!" I will not look to the left or to the right! Your voice alone will I follow. When I arise to You, the earth is laid flat and I can soar above all of the obstacles and tough terrain. I choose today to see as You see and hear as You hear. Continue to speak, Your servant is listening.